Divorce-the act of disconnecting your identity from that of another person.
It's is a pretty major move when we talk about changing our identity. It can be unsettling for the person who is affirmatively seeking porce. For the person to whom porce is the farthest thing from their minds, it can be downright frightening and gut wrenching. Really, isn't it hard enough to figure out who "we are" beyond the roles that we play of spouse, parent, co-worker. How much harder then is it to try to figure out who we will be when the porce is final. Our roles do change with porce. How they will change is not so easily perceived when we're in the middle of the porcing process. This uncertainty of identity/roles can lead to making decisions during the porce that do not always serve our highest interest. How can we make an informed, well thought out decision when we see our old life slipping away under someone else's control?
One of the reasons I suggest counseling to my clients is that a good counselor is able to help put events in perspective, provide coping mechanisms, help you craft the identity that you want after porce. Doesn't the idea of a knowledgeable professional or two being on your team to get you from point A to point B sound attractive? Not only do you not have to do it alone, you will likely do it with less heartache for you and your children with knowledgeable professionals helping you. Divorce in the best of circumstances is a difficult process to go through.
Please see a counselor. Even before you even file. It is a great thing you can do for yourself and your family and it sets you up for a more successful porce.
For Smart Divorce in Texas
Diane M. Wanger
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